Tech-Startup Entrepreneur Hipsters – The Worst Kind!

So I just received an email that I was accepted into the beta for some new tech startup website that I didn’t even remember signing up for.  Hell I’m not really sure I ever acutally signed up for, seeing as though they sent me the notification to 3 of my email addresses.  I’m pretty sure I’m on some mailing list they bought.  But anyway, today I got notified that I was able to join the beta for “Erli Bird” a new startup itself that allows you to join the betas for new and upcoming tech startup websites and apps.

Don’t get me started on why they went with the spelling “ERLI” instead of the normal, accepted, “EARLY”. . . what really got me pissed off this morning is the plethora of names of  tech-startup hipster entrepreneurs companies that they are allowing you join the beta’s for.  I’ll focus on just a few of my favorites here, and provide a quick ranking on solidly they piss me off with their ironic web 3.0 abbreviated or hiply spelled company names.



JAVU: 1/5
I don’t know what the fuck geofencing is, nor do I care about harnessing it.  The name sounds like “java” and “view”, so maybe they direct you local coffee shops?  Too many hipsters writing screenplays on their macbook pros there already, no need for this app.



UTAVI: 1/5
I’m pretty sure this is the sound that the jawa traders make in Star Wars.   Stupid name for an app.



Complete with “instagram” style script logo and cool picture of the hipster-tech-startup icon Golden Gate Bridge…


This one annoys the shit out of me.  It just sounds pretentious.  Oh and it provides “social learning for the modern enterprise”.  I can’t see IBM or HP admitting they use “pathgather”.



FUCK seriously “tagr”?  WHY!  It just sounds too much like “grindr” which is, literally, gay.



While this one annoys me for the one ironic word name, it gets an extra point because they used the correct spelling, and not “PONDR”.



This one pisses me off for multiple reasons.  Most of you already know my hatred of hippies, and this is a social network solely for Yoga Hippies!  I think we all know one bitch that is probably already signed up for the beta on this one…

I could go on for hours.  Maybe I’ll follow up with a new post each week on this, there is tons of content on the site!

Which ones do you hate the most?

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