Posted on May 24, 2010
F*CK%NG BATTLE HAMSTERS!
I’m not really sure what needs to be said on this one. There just isn’t really much that I can add that really drives home just how cool battling hamsters are. Especially battling NINJA hamsters. You can really make anything a ninja and it becomes exponentially cooler. To prove this point, I am now googling “ninja cucumber”. This query results in the following picture:
Which is not a ninja cucumber per se, but it is a ninja egg amidst a bowl of fruit, thereby making said bowl of fruit exponentially cooler than when it was simply a bowl of fruit, sans ninja egg.
Anyway, I keep getting off on tangents about completely ridiculous stuff. Back to hamsters. Friday morning, after a night of boozing and playing trivia at woodstocks, I awoke with a hangover at Jess’ house and crawled to the couch to watch SpongeBob while she was getting ready for work. Her sister joined me in time for a classic episode where we witnessed the most epic of commercials…
Now I have been out of the saturday morning cartoon circuit for quite some time, so I’m not really up to date on the latest toy technologies that today’s children get to enjoy. I feel really old saying this, but I remember when I was a kid we actually got outside to play and really do shit. For some odd reason my parents wouldn’t get me a nintendo, but they didn’t mind me being plugged into a computer all the time. I remember watching all the classics, but my all time favorite was REBOOT. Does anybody remember this? One of the first full 3d CGI animated cartoons about all these characters that lived inside a computer. I never missed this on saturday mornings, with a bowl of the most sugary cereal I could convince my mom to buy that week (chocolate frosted sugar bombs! haha)
Wow I am way off topic again, for the third time. Back to ninjas – this commercial during Spongbob was for the Kung Zhu Hamster Battle Ninja Ultra Extreme Special Edition Playset. You basically take little hamster toys on wheels, put a plastic ninja suit on top of them, and run them down these plastic runways until they hit the steel (plastic) cage and the battle ensues. I can’t really do the awesomeness of this toy justice, so I have embedded the commercial from youtube in the post below. Take note of the green hamster at 0:11 seconds who gets the awesome cavalry trumpet sound when he gets armored up – hilarious!
So now Stephanie and I have challenged each other to a sweet ninja hamster battle…and we’re just waiting to see who breaks down first and heads to Toys R Us to awkwardly purchase a childrens toy. Stay tuned for future footage of Stephanie and I actually playing with the ninja hamster playset…which I really doubt will be as fun as the hot ninja action depicted in the commercial.
As an added bonus, i dug up the video clip of CROSSFIRE, my favorite board game as a kid. Believe me, this crappy 80’s marketing worked like crazy on little kids hopped up on sugar.