Finally Rescheduled My Shoulder Surgery

Finally was able to get my surgery rescheduled for Thursday, Feb 5th.  This sucks because its the day before my birthday, and my birthday is on a Friday this year which was going to lead to some awesome partying.  Sucks how things work out sometimes, but at least it looks like both of my parents will be able to come down for it and hang out for the weekend, so at least I’ll be able to spend some time with them.  Drugged up, painful, sore time in a daze, but time nontheless.

My Dad is coming down weds night, and talking to my mom on the phone last night she asked if I cared if she made it down thursday for the surgery or on friday after work (shes a teacher).  I said its no big deal, just come whenever you can.  Then I told her sarcastically “Its no big deal, I was there for your cancer surgery, but now don’t worry about my shoulder”.  We had a good laugh, and I think its good that we can laugh about that stuff now, because the last year was pretty scary and stressful with her going through it.

On a tangent – now that my mom has gone through cancer, I kind of feel like I have been through the experience of dealing with it.  Not like I did anything, or was really affected by it, and I tried to be there as much as I could, but just that someone that was close to me had it and I tried my best to help them through it.  Now you meet all sorts of people who have had it, or know someone who had it, or their family member had it.  Its crazy, just something that you don’t bring up in conversation that often, but when you do you find that tons of people have gone through it or seen it in some way.  I was over at San Diego Rod and Custom, and starting talking to this guy Paul who had a ’59 Dodge Lancer (i think) at the shop getting it all kustomed out.  We were bullshitting and I find out he had this crazy neck lymph node cancer and was supposed to die, and got it when he was over in Iraq.  We talked about cancer and stuff for quite a while, like about an hour, and then he was telling me since he beat it and has been clear for about a year and half, he decided he wanted to build this custom car exactly like he had dreamed of.  It was a pretty cool story, and I think I have some pics of the car somewhere.

Anyway, back to the point:

I talked to Dani’s sister’s boyfriend, Dalton, who had just had the exact same surgery done last tuesday, and watched the video of it.  He said the first week is pretty rough, but he was just starting to be able to move his arm a bit, and drive (although his car is a manual too, and he said its kind of hard.  I have been practicing driving with just my right arm to prepare for this).  The surgery doesn’t sound too bad, you are pretty much just knocked out for the whole thing, wake up, and go home to be miserable.  Then a couple months of physical therapy, and supposedly you should be at 100% in around 3 months.  I’m hoping that is true because since I had to delay my surgery from its original date in November, 3 months our from feb will put me a the beginning of May before I can wakeboard again.  Looks like I’ll be spending a lot of time driving the boat for everyone 🙁  Hopefully I can get some wakesurfing in?

I’m really excited and a little scared to have this done, mainly because for the past year or so since my arm has really been destroyed, I am pretty much scared that anything I do will dislocate my arm.  I have disclocated it picking up cups of coffee, rolled over on it in my sleep and popped it out, and done it more times wakeboarding than I can count.  I know for a fact that the reason I’m hesitant to really stick my backrolls is because I’m scared of dislocating my shoulder on the landing.  I know that I can land it if I’m not scared about my shoulder, but the thing that really scares me is that what if I always have this reservation about my shoulder.  I kind of have the feeling that I will always be scared of dislocating it, even after the surgery, maybe even being more scared that after it’s fixed I will do it again and do even more damage, undoing everything the surgery fixed!  I hope I don’t think that way afterwards, but I guess time will tell.  Dalton said it felt good and tighter since the surgery, which is something I am looking forward to, because as long as I can remember this shoulder has always felt loose and sloppy.

Anyway, we’ll see what happens – I’ll keep you posted!

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