Tech Support

Subject:  Installing A Husband
Dear Tech Support,
> Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
> distinct slow down in overall system performance — particularly in
> the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under
> Boyfriend 5.0.
>
> In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs,
> such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed
> undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1.
>
> Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes
> the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but
> to no avail.  What can I do?
>
> Signed, Desperate
> ————————————-
> Dear Desperate:
>
> First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
> Husband 1.0 is an Operating System.
>
> Please enter the command: ‘I Thought You Loved Me.exe’, try to download
> Tears 6.2 and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that
> application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically
>run
> the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.   But remember, overuse
>of
> the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy
> Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.  Beer 6.1 is a very bad
> program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
>
> Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0   It runs a virus in
> the background that will eventually seize control of all your system
> resources.   Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0
> program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0
>
> In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
> memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.   You might consider
> buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We
> recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.
Good Luck,  Tech Support

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