Posted on January 7, 2008
CLEGS Shall Rise Again & Machine Gun Legs![15:15] BetterOffAloneSB: Deuce
[15:15] The Gun Show: buns
[15:15] BetterOffAloneSB: I need your help
[15:15] The Gun Show: go on…
[15:16] BetterOffAloneSB: I’ve been thinking about having one of my legs replaced with a machine gun – similar to the unbearably hot chick on Grindhouse: Planet Terror
[15:16] The Gun Show: okay…so what seems to be the problem?
[15:16] The Gun Show: that’s rose mcgowan by the way…she has a name
[15:16] The Gun Show: she’s not just some peice of meat with a machine gun strapped to it
[15:17] BetterOffAloneSB: sorry. my bad. well what do you think? Its a risky operation
[15:17] BetterOffAloneSB: But I’m really thinking that the benefits outweigh the risks
[15:18] The Gun Show: well…for starters…you’re first benefit is having a machine gun for a leg.
[15:18] BetterOffAloneSB: clearly
[15:19] The Gun Show: second…you would be able to protect your loved ones from home predators
[15:19] BetterOffAloneSB: absolutely.
[15:19] BetterOffAloneSB: I mean…I would be awesome in some post-apocalyptic wasteland, but how do you think mainstream society would receive me now
[15:22] The Gun Show: well…machine guns for legs right now is kinda like tattoos 10 years ago. Over time as the younger generations who are heavily tatted get older tattoos are becoming very socialy acceptable. You may be looked at different at first…but soon bank managers and the president will have a machine gun for a leg
[15:22] BetterOffAloneSB: wow. you really know how to put issues like this in the proper perspective
[15:23] BetterOffAloneSB: I have another issue I’m dealing with
[15:23] The Gun Show: continue
[15:24] BetterOffAloneSB: you know how much I like Coors Light in can – with the wide mouth that allows you such easy and consistant access to the golden nectar within
[15:24] The Gun Show: yes Ian…the wide mouth delivers wide open refreshment…everyone likes that
[15:25] BetterOffAloneSB: you know as well as I do I love nothing more than to hear the pleasing crack of a fresh CL being opened…the cold mist spraying a light layer of joy all over your face, the first refreshing drink…kind of like the comfort of putting on a warm sweater on a cold winter morning
[15:26] BetterOffAloneSB: but here is the dilemma I put to you. Something that is tearing at the moral fiber of my being
[15:26] The Gun Show: im listening…
[15:27] The Gun Show: you’re making me a bit nervous
[15:27] BetterOffAloneSB: they now have, as I’m sure you are aware, Coors Light in a bottle with highly advanced (Developed in a secret military lab hidden high within the Rockies that the very source of Coors light originates) Temperature sensative material making up the mountain logo
[15:28] BetterOffAloneSB: as I’m sure you know, the mountains will change color, letting you, the educated drinker, know when your beer is at optimal temperature, and also alerting you to the fact that it may be getting dangerously warm
[15:28] BetterOffAloneSB: so I ask of you, friend, which do I drink from?
[15:28] The Gun Show: correct
[15:28] BetterOffAloneSB: The pleasing crack of opening a cold dog in a can, or the reassurance and trust of highly developed technology in a glass bottle?
[15:29] The Gun Show: im glad you came to me with this
[15:29] BetterOffAloneSB: God I just wish there was some way to incorporate them both
[15:29] BetterOffAloneSB: it keeps me up nights
[15:30] The Gun Show: through my last 26 years of my worldly travels and education i’ve learned much about the splendor within each can and bottle of coors light….
[15:30] BetterOffAloneSB: go on…
[15:30] The Gun Show: I know what it’s like when one’s cup overfloweth with cooors light…
[15:31] The Gun Show: i know what it’s like when the well runneth dry…
[15:31] The Gun Show: i’ve been there when friends and family missplace their cold tasting frost brew refrestment…and it is not a curse i wish upon my worst enemy
[15:32] The Gun Show: I ask you now Ian…too look at this with a point of view of being out with you’re closest of friends…
[15:33] BetterOffAloneSB: go on
[15:33] The Gun Show: picture with me if you will…You’re out on the town…lets say…they strips of Vegas…
[15:34] BetterOffAloneSB: im imagining it now
[15:34] BetterOffAloneSB: so many lights
[15:34] The Gun Show: you and your feirce army of party animals suddenly develope a kings thirst for a frosty brew…
[15:35] BetterOffAloneSB: (But not at a Kings Ransom)
[15:35] The Gun Show: you and your men break down the gates of the nearest bar and DEMAND tribute to your army…and they present you with a bounty of coors light…
[15:36] BetterOffAloneSB: at Excalibur perhaps?
[15:36] The Gun Show: yet they present you with cans…which you can see the frost dripping from them..and the wide mouth ready to deliver nothing but the refreshing hydration your horde desires. …
[15:36] The Gun Show: yet to your left…you see the long next bottles of glory…signaling to you that indeed…our mountains are blue…and our beer is ready for the plundering
[15:37] BetterOffAloneSB: WAIT! Are you saying I should enjoy BOTH?
[15:37] The Gun Show: no this is where you findith your answer…
[15:37] The Gun Show: now*
[15:38] The Gun Show: draw up your weapons…and peirce the sides of the aluminum barrier between you and the water of the gods…and shot gun….
[15:38] The Gun Show: THEN!
[15:38] BetterOffAloneSB: so cold. so refreshing
[15:39] The Gun Show: you grab your bottles….RAISE THEM HIGH!!! AND CHEERS THE BOTTLES TOGETHER AND LISTEN TO THE TRIUMPHANT CLING THAT WILL BE HEARD THROUGHT OUT THE HILLS OF THE COUNTRY!
[15:39] BetterOffAloneSB: !!!!
[15:39] BetterOffAloneSB: I AM SO PUMPED UP RIGHT NOW
[15:39] BetterOffAloneSB: I AM RAISING THE ROOF WITH BOTH HANDS
[15:40] BetterOffAloneSB: there it was…the answer right in front of me all along.
[15:40] BetterOffAloneSB: how blind and ignorant have I been
[15:40] The Gun Show: let me leave you with this as well
[15:40] BetterOffAloneSB: OF COURSE its logical to enjoy the refreshment of one in perfect harmony with the other
[15:41] The Gun Show: when emotions are running high…and you can only choose one or the other…remember…when cheersing to the best of times…we must remember which cheers is mightier….the bottle or the can
[15:42] BetterOffAloneSB: I have had equally good cheers with both
[15:42] BetterOffAloneSB: just yesterday I was cheersing Dave and Hecker with ice cold CL cans
[15:43] The Gun Show: i hope that i have shown you that you need not choose only one
[15:43] BetterOffAloneSB: but the satisfying clink of glass on glass is just as good
[15:44] BetterOffAloneSB: you truly have shown me both sides of the issua
[15:44] BetterOffAloneSB: i couldn’t ask for a better understanding than the one I have now
[15:44] The Gun Show: now go Ian…and show everyone that you needn’t settle for one
[15:44] BetterOffAloneSB: I can only hope that we can put these theoretical issues into practice in Vegas in a couple weeks.
[15:45] The Gun Show: ah yes…and we shall
[15:45] BetterOffAloneSB: I shall cheers you with both bottle and can, sing it from the mountain tops that CLEGS shall rise again
[15:45] The Gun Show: it is possible that you are the chosen one to bring clegs back to order…
[15:46] BetterOffAloneSB: I feel fate calling me
[15:46] The Gun Show: well ian…i must depart now…
[15:46] The Gun Show: be strong
[15:46] The Gun Show: and go with your heart [15:47] BetterOffAloneSB: thank you. I am forever in your debt. We shall reconvene in Las Vegas, Nevada in two weeks time…and Victory shall be ours
[15:47] The Gun Show: Maybe we should practice our Poker for Vegas.
[15:47] The Gun Show: HUZZAH!
[15:47] *** “The Gun Show” signed off at Mon Jan 07 15:47:55 2008.