Titanic vs. My Life

Students at a local school were assigned to read 2 books, “Titanic” & “My Life” by Bill Clinton.

titanic vs clinton


One student turned in the following book report,
with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!
His cool professor gave him an A+ for this report:

Titanic:…. cost – $29.99
Clinton :….. cost – $29.99

Titanic:….. Over 3 hours to read
Clinton :….. Over 3 hours to read

Titanic:….. The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe .
Clinton :….. The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.

Titanic:….. Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton :….. Bill is a bullshit artist.

Titanic:…. In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton :….. Ditto for Bill.

Titanic:….. During the ordeal, Rose’s dress gets ruined.
Clinton :….. Ditto for Monica.

Titanic:….. Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton :….. Let’s not go there.

Titanic:….. Rose gets to keep her jewelry
Clinton

:…. Monica’s forced to return her gifts.

Titanic:….. Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton :….. Clinton doesn’t remember Jack.

Titanic:….. Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton :….. Monica…ooh, let’s not go there, either.

Titanic:….. Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton :….. Bill goes home to Hilary – basically the same thing.