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The Adventures of Yung Joose and Dre Dollas

I’ve got quite a few friends on Facebook.  Most I know, some I don’t.  Recently, I stumbled across a few gents who reside in the “don’t” category.  But that’s not to say that I don’t want to stay apprised of their every update on the Book of Faces.  With the addition of these bros, my social network continues to expand like Germany invading Poland (i.e., its expanding, but not necessarily in a good way).  Yes, let me introduce you to my new pals, Yung Joose and Dre Dollas!

I’m not sure where Mr. Joose hails from, but he seems to have a large contingent of friends in LA and Hollywood, so I’ll assume he works in the music industry.  With a name like Yung Joose, I like to pretend he’s a record producer or rap star, but I suppose selling bootleg mix tapes out of a backpack on Sunset is still a part of the music industry, no matter how small a part it may be.

You can also see that Joose has suffered some form of leg injury.  I like to pretend its from an altercation that arose due to an offensive jest woven into one of his rhymes during a rap battle or even a scuffle with police…but I supposed he could have just tripped over one of the many items littering the floor in his crib.  Be more careful Joose!  At least Joose is a responsible social media user, he kept his profile pretty locked down to non-friends.


One of his Joose’s other buddies on his friends list caught my attention as well.  I think they may be brothers, as they share the same name.  Yung Skeez is obviously a fun loving gentlemen, and quite the ladies man!  That’s not a bad looking jeep behind him either.

Next, meet my other new friend, Dre Dollas.  Dre hails from Reno, NV, but he’s a lot more fun than anyone else in the crew.

Something you might not know about Mr. Dollas – he’s quite the successful business man.  Although he hasn’t studied much, you can see that he held employment at STRAIGHT MONEY EMPIRE!  Now, I have no idea what sort of company this, and even a quick googling didn’t shine any light on the topic, but I assume its some sort of stock or bond trading organization.  I see nothing to make me believe that Mr. Dollas is anything other than a gainfully employed financial planner or investment banker.

Now that you know more about our new friends, lets look at the first hilarious interaction between Yung Joose and Dre Dollas.  See, Dollas had recently acquired a new set of shoes.  You can see from his profile above that these new shoes warranted some serious Facebook image real estate.  We see these shoes from all angles, and I don’t blame him – they are a nice pair of Jordans!  Lets take a deeper look into their conversation. Oh, and note the creative angle and display technique used for framing the shot.

The comments read as follows (I will do my best to provide an accurate translation as well)

Yung Joose: the QUESTION is how u get them js

translation:  Hello, Dre.  Those look like some great new sneakers.  Where did you purchase them?


translation: Thanks for inquiring about my new sneakers, Joose.  I purchased them at foot locker in December, they were an early Christmas present.

Stay Tuned for episode 2 of the adventures of Dre Dollas and Yung Joose!  Sneak preview:

Dre learns how to rotate photos, and defends his posture!

Creative Names for the Most Abused Bathing Suit – The Banana Hammock

banana-hammockDon’t ask me how I got on the topic of creative alternative names for Speedo’s with my parents tonight, but we had a damn good laugh thinking of great names for the things.  After accusing my brother of loving dudes wearing “banana hammocks” and “grape smugglers” (my go-to hilarious names for speedo’s) I decided to perform a quick google search for a more comprehensive list of names.  I was not to be disappointed.  My search returned a treasure trove of Speedo alternatives, most from a great new blog I discovered – .  These guys built a list of shit so funny it had my mom rolling on the ground laughing.  I’ve now added a few new clutch Speedo names to my vocabulary like the always appropriate “Nantucket Nad Bucket”, the “Portuguese Pud Purse”, and the classic “Daytona Dong Sarong”.  This is just the beginning, enjoy the full list from the geniuses over at!

  • Marble Sack
  • Banana Hammock
  • Grape Smuggler
  • Australian Dick Sticker
  • Nut Hut
  • Boner Suit
  • Scrote Tote
  • Nantucket Nad Bucket
  • Sausage Sling
  • Portuguese Pud Purse
  • Ouch Pouch
  • Cock Sock
  • Peach Pit Papoose
  • Ballbushka
  • Lolly Catcher
  • Daytona Dong Sarong
  • Sperm Tourniquet
  • Nugget-Hug-It
  • Brazilian Ball Bag
  • Manberry Pudding Pack
  • Miami Meat Tent
  • Saint-Tropez Truffle Duffle
  • Bratwurst Bath Cap
  • Pickle Pincher

The full post can be found here:

Got some better ones to add?  Post em in the comments!

Some Awesome News Stories

A 7-year-old boy broke into a popular Outback zoo, fed a string of animals to the resident crocodile and bashed several lizards to death with a rock, the zoo’s director said Friday.

The 30-minute rampage, caught on the zoo’s security camera, happened early Wednesday after the boy jumped a security fence at the Alice Springs Reptile Center in central Australia, said zoo director Rex Neindorf.

The child then went on a killing spree, bashing three lizards to death with a rock, including the zoo’s beloved, 20-year-old goanna, which he then fed to “Terry,” an 11-foot, 440-pound saltwater crocodile, said Neindorf.

The boy also fed several live animals to Terry by throwing them over the two fences surrounding the crocodile’s enclosure, at one point climbing over the outer fence to get closer to the giant reptile.

In the footage, the boy’s face remains largely blank, Neindorf said, adding: “It was like he was playing a game.”

and a good robbery plan – using craigslist!

More than a dozen workers seeking $28.50 an hour for a job advertised on Craiglist showed up at a designated site in Monroe, Washington. Most wore, as requested, a “yellow vest, safety goggles, a respirator mask… and, if possible, a blue shirt.” They didn’t realize they were set up as decoys to confuse police, by a similarly dressed robber who pepper-sprayed an armored car guard at a nearby bank. The robber grabbed a bag of cash from the guard, then escaped down a local creek on an inflated tire inner tube. (Photo by KING-TV)


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