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The Continued Adventures of Drizzy Swagtacular Dre


If you remember an old post from a little over a year ago regarding the “Swagtacular” adventures of two strapping young gentlemen: Yung Joose and Dre Dollas, then you are sure to enjoy today’s long-awaited sequel.  That’s right, today we’ll investigate the goings-on of Joose and Dollas partner-in-crime, Drizzy Swagtacular Dre.  Now don’t let the names confuse you, just because both of these lads go by Dre does not necessarily mean they have anything in common.  Let’s take a look and see what the boys are up to, shall we?

 

I stumbled across Drizzy Dre (my nickname for him) as I was searching Facebook to find out what Yung J and Dre$ had been to up.  I immediately abandoned my search when I found this hidden internet gem.  I gotta be honest, sometimes the tubes that power the intarwebz align, and everything is right in the online world.  The discovery of this gentleman on Facebook was definitely one of those times, similar to my first viewing of (WARNING: NSFW LINKS) 2 girls 1 cup, my first RickRoll, or the first time I was link hijacked and shanghaied onto a Goatse page or accidentally stumbled across the Lemon Party.   You get what I’m saying – sometimes shit is just funny as hell…and this was one of those times.

 

I think the most obvious place to start here is with the pictures.  For some reason, this gentleman has quite the obsession with posting pictures of himself holding copious amounts of cash.  Since his profile states that he is gainfully employed at Foot Locker, I can only wonder where he came across such a serious amount of money other than he cashed an entire paycheck…literally…and took a ton of pictures of him holding $500 in $20 bills in various Myspace-type angles.  Although I suppose that for a person whose middle name is “Stackin Dollas” that this lifestyle is only fitting…

 

After further perusal, I found other interesting pictures.  It seems that not only does Dre have copious amounts of cash money, but he also prides himself on having a nice whip.

 

Notice a few interesting things about this picture…Dre has obviously spent some of that hard earned cash on upgrading the rims on his ride.  He’s installed some 20’s that look pretty dope on this Caddy.  Not only did he upgrade them joints, but he has also installed a Lambo door kit on the car (highlighted for your easy identification).  However, he apparently ran out out money halfway through this project, as the rear door was apparently removed in anticipation of the door upgrade, and never reattached.  That, or it just fell off.   Which is maybe what the guy sitting on the roof of the car is pointing at?  Regardless, we can see that these gentlemen enjoy a lifestyle that the rest of us can only dream of.

 

Next, I started looking through the internet wasteland that is Drizzy Dre’s page, and the first thing that became readily obvious to me was the fact that this man has an astounding command of the English language.  I thought I was impressed with the conversation I read between Joose and Dollas a year ago…but those two didn’t scratch the surface of content that Drizzy Dre is pumping out.  Now I can only hope to somewhat understand what is going on here, I don’t claim to truly know what he is saying…but I’ll do my best to understand:

 

 

 

 

 

Translation:  “I would rather not attend my classes today.  However, I am concerned that I do not have anything else to do and might find myself bored if I am not in class.  If you are interested in hanging out, please feel free to contact me.”

Note:  WTF why was this posted at 4am?  What time does his school start?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Translation:  I have no fucking clue.  Although the line “so much money on my mind I need a memory card” is hilarious!

 

 

 

 

 

Translation:  Fuck I’m 1 for 3, I have no idea what he is trying to say here other than he is “Fresh tu Death”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I give up.  I have no idea what this means.  It’s not even a complete sentence.  There’s a Star Wars reference in there but things seem to fall apart after the Bill Gates reference…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
Finally.  This puts it all in perspective for me.  He’s been rapping!  I thought this was all nonsense, but now in the context of fresh beats and dope rhymes, it all makes sense!  Drizzy Dre is a lyrical poet.  All is right in the world.

 

I was really wondering for a while there as I suffered through some of those status updates…it reminded me of the 13 year girls on AIM who must have painstakingly typed every other letter as a capital.  How in the world did they do that?!  Would those girls literally switch off hitting shift in between each letter?  How LoNg WoUlD iT tAkE tHeM tO wRiTe EvEn ThE sHoRtEsT oF sEnTeNcEs?!?!  (Answer:  A long time.  Even concentrating on what I was doing it took me a full minute to type out that sentence alternating shift every other letter.

 

Well, there you have it.  It’s good to make new friends online every now and then, and I feel proud to add Drizzy Swagtacular Dre to my online stable of pals.  Keep an eye out for his rap game, you can tell from the proof I just posted – he’s about to blow up!

 

 

The Adventures of Yung Joose and Dre Dollas


I’ve got quite a few friends on Facebook.  Most I know, some I don’t.  Recently, I stumbled across a few gents who reside in the “don’t” category.  But that’s not to say that I don’t want to stay apprised of their every update on the Book of Faces.  With the addition of these bros, my social network continues to expand like Germany invading Poland (i.e., its expanding, but not necessarily in a good way).  Yes, let me introduce you to my new pals, Yung Joose and Dre Dollas!

I’m not sure where Mr. Joose hails from, but he seems to have a large contingent of friends in LA and Hollywood, so I’ll assume he works in the music industry.  With a name like Yung Joose, I like to pretend he’s a record producer or rap star, but I suppose selling bootleg mix tapes out of a backpack on Sunset is still a part of the music industry, no matter how small a part it may be.

You can also see that Joose has suffered some form of leg injury.  I like to pretend its from an altercation that arose due to an offensive jest woven into one of his rhymes during a rap battle or even a scuffle with police…but I supposed he could have just tripped over one of the many items littering the floor in his crib.  Be more careful Joose!  At least Joose is a responsible social media user, he kept his profile pretty locked down to non-friends.

 

One of his Joose’s other buddies on his friends list caught my attention as well.  I think they may be brothers, as they share the same name.  Yung Skeez is obviously a fun loving gentlemen, and quite the ladies man!  That’s not a bad looking jeep behind him either.

Next, meet my other new friend, Dre Dollas.  Dre hails from Reno, NV, but he’s a lot more fun than anyone else in the crew.

Something you might not know about Mr. Dollas – he’s quite the successful business man.  Although he hasn’t studied much, you can see that he held employment at STRAIGHT MONEY EMPIRE!  Now, I have no idea what sort of company this, and even a quick googling didn’t shine any light on the topic, but I assume its some sort of stock or bond trading organization.  I see nothing to make me believe that Mr. Dollas is anything other than a gainfully employed financial planner or investment banker.

Now that you know more about our new friends, lets look at the first hilarious interaction between Yung Joose and Dre Dollas.  See, Dollas had recently acquired a new set of shoes.  You can see from his profile above that these new shoes warranted some serious Facebook image real estate.  We see these shoes from all angles, and I don’t blame him – they are a nice pair of Jordans!  Lets take a deeper look into their conversation. Oh, and note the creative angle and display technique used for framing the shot.

The comments read as follows (I will do my best to provide an accurate translation as well)

Yung Joose: the QUESTION is how u get them js

translation:  Hello, Dre.  Those look like some great new sneakers.  Where did you purchase them?

Dre Dollas: SHOE GAME IS EMPEKABLE BRUH I BOUGHT’M IN DECEMBER AT DA STORE WHERE U POSSED TO GET’M NIGGA

translation: Thanks for inquiring about my new sneakers, Joose.  I purchased them at foot locker in December, they were an early Christmas present.

Stay Tuned for episode 2 of the adventures of Dre Dollas and Yung Joose!  Sneak preview:

Dre learns how to rotate photos, and defends his posture!

Some Hilarious Facebook Advice


Hit the link to check out the specifics of what this creeper was writing to her on FB. The good stuff is in the comments where three chicks give him advice on how to talk to his daughter, followed by a comment from the Creeper. hahahahaha
clipped from www.reddit.com
Was checking on my 13 year old daughter’s facebook account the other day and noticed a series of messages between her and a 25 year friend of my ex-wife. The friend lives in another state where my ex used to live and my daughter met him there a couple years ago.
Most of the comments on just common conversation back and forth, but there were a couple that got my attention immediately.
blog it

Check out the full post here:

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ervd7/found_inappropriate_comments_to_my_teen_daughter/

and the top four comments, especially “Creeper here: I wouldn’t worry about it, probably no big deal.” :mrgreen:

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