It’s always interesting to see what oddball douchebags come out of the woodwork when posting shit on CL. As usual I have a ton of stuff posted for sale on the site, but for some weird reason I have been getting a ton of weird responses to my posting of my MSI GT70 gaming laptop for sale/trade. Maybe it’s because the only people interested in it are computer nerds with extremely limited social skills, but whatever the reason I have received some interesting emails about it.
All posts in “Funny”
If you know anything about my Dad, you know that from during March Madness, he cannot be bothered. He runs the infamous “Hoop Heavyweights” Final Four brackets, a magical place where him and all his KU frat brothers get together every year to talk shit (you thought the D Street Crew talks some good shit? These guys have been doing it since THEY were in college!) and place bets. During the month of March he’s known only as “The Commish” where he sends out his weekly bracket updates that I eagerly look forward to. And of course, he’s always got his tickets booked to head to final weekend where (hopefully) KU is battling it out for another Final Four championship.
If you think for one second I’m playing up the dedication here…just check out the final bracket-busting message The Commish sent out to the group upon returning from NOLA and most recent Final Four spent partying on Bourbon Street (names changed to protect the guilty):
Subject: HHW (Hoop Heavyweights) Representatives Report from NOLA FFour Trip
Sorry for the delays due to tornadoes at the DFW Airport
(that’s my story and I’m sticking to it….AAir made me stay
extra days in NOLA); here is our HHW Trip report on NOLA, as
is required by being a member of this illustrious group.
4 HHW members including John “CINN” Smith, KU Johnson, KU
Stevens, and the Commish (plus 1 adjunct member also last
name Stevens) attended the festivities in NOLA and
represented this group, so to speak. We attended various
NABC events including the Coaches Cocktail Party; convention
exhibits; bus rides, etc. as well as numerous fan events.
Note that your designated HHW attendees spoke with several
Coaches and imparted HHW wisdom to them for their future
4 HHW members stayed over in Algiers across the Mississippi
via Ferry on an old military base where 2 were tossed in the
back of an NOPD squad car for a free ride to meet the ferry
(southern hospitality). Great free concerts were provided
by Jimmy Buffet and KISS plus a lot of “local flavor”
events. The KU Bar was Walk-ons & Happy’s (attached) which
was a designated meeting site for the HHWs. You’ll be
pleased to note that the HHWs stayed well above the fray on
Bourbon St by frequenting the balcony at BeerFest. No
details will be provided, but the HHWs are now proud owners
of the NCAA welcome banner hanging on that balcony; along
with the BudLight flags from inside the bar area. 2 members
of the HHWs were also interviewed at the Team Practice
session and Reeses All Star game by the Wichita KS NBC
station and put on local TV but no fears; NO HHW secrets
Oh yes, there were some games and the outcome of the Semi’s
were outstanding; however the storm clouds came up and the
KU parade was rained on in the Finals by essentially an NBA
Team stacked with a bunch of BigMacs and 6 future NBA picks.
It was a great run for the Jayhawks and we’ll see how long
it stays in the NCAA recordbook. At least the Hawks
essentially were defacto Champs of the Big 10; Pac 12; ACC;
Big East; etc when you review their thread of victories this
Footnote: It appeared that most BBfans west of the Rockies
were banned from attending this year. As for next year;
UCLA appears to be stacked with the ShaBAZZ road show and
maybe some west coast teams will make it back to the other
side of the Rockies to Atlanta.
Good Luck & remember “there’s always next year”! Comments?
Additions from the other HHW attendees?
And if you are possibly doubting his dedication for one second…check out this years pic of “The Commish” in the back of a cop car on the way to the tournament…
Gotta love my old man!
If you have been a long time reader of T&T you may remember my last ordeal with online dating (see THIS post from a while back). It didn’t go so well. So since my recent (not my choice) change in relationship status, I figured I might as well use this opportunity to see whats going on with San Diego’s huge population of older, eligible, women. That’s right – Cougars. La Jolla, Del Mar, Solana Beach…the coastal areas are full of Cougar Dens with tons of Cougars on the prowl. I like to think I fall into their prime demographic – single, no kids, self sufficient, eligible bachelor under 30?
So I did what any self respecting young cougar-hunter would do. I signed up for CougarLife.com. After all, it’s been voted America’s #1 wildest online dating site…what could go wrong? I immediately set up a profile, using years of online dating experience to craft an irresistible presence for myself on the site. And what do you know…the messages started pouring in! Within a week I had 6 messages, within a month, over 15. I must have done something right! But wait, there’s a catch – WHAT! I have pay in order to read the messages?! I’m hooked – no doubt these messages are dripping with sexual innuendos that only a mid-40′s divorcee could propose.
My Gmail inbox starts to fill up with notifications like this:
Of course this goes straight to my head and I start envisioning myself as the Steve Irwin of La Jolla, spending Friday nights out Cooz-Hunting or posting up at the bar at the Brigantine on a Poon Safari, slaying the local wildlife and being nursed back to health from horrible wine-cooler hangovers by beautiful middle aged women.
Well, I might have let my imagination get the best of me, because I still haven’t paid to sign up and see what these messages actually say. But hey – they have a guarantee that if I don’t actually get laid – they will refund my membership fee. How can I go wrong?! Since I’ve been a member for about a month and still not actually signed up, one day I receive the following message:
WHAT!! You want me to be a member so badly that you will let me sign up for the one-time low price of $12?!?!?!? SOLD! As I go to the sign up link, shaking with the anticipation of what these messages are going to say, I feel like the guy in the Da Vinci code unlocking that codex thing (only to find out that this situation is going to have a worse ending than a Dan Brown novel).
I decide to do some quick googling before actually putting down a credit card on this thing, and I fire off a quick search for “cougar life scam”. Uh oh…millions of results. I decide to read a few. Oh shit, these guys have been in the same situation. That can’t possibly be the same for me though, these women are legit (this is literally my thought process). I’ll just do a quick check and see what these profiles look like…
Wait a minute nitestorm008, why haven’t you filled out your “About Me” section? Why do you only have 1 picture? Why do ALL of the other women who messaged me have the same situation on their profile? The realization begins to sink in that I am indeed NOT the Steve Irwin of middle aged women. I’m a sucker who *ALMOST* fell for an online scam. hahaha
Well, I can’t give CougarLife.com the awesome review that I really wanted to. But I can tell you this: just signing up for this thing is great for your ego as the spam messages start rolling in. In you are single loser like myself, it just might provide the confidence boost you are looking for to get out there and meet some women through real interaction…Or just learn the Mystery Method. (hahahaha)
Stay tuned as I read the pick up artist books and try that route!
EDIT: As I was editing this post, I happened to see the following ad show up in the Google-provided ads integrated in my site. WTF! Who’s the marketing genius in charge of this campaign? FAIL
EDIT #2: If you are into laughing about other people’s online dating misadventures, I HIGHLY recommend you check out Single Steve’s blog. I can’t even touch the shit this guy gets into. Go get ‘em, Steve!