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My dad was ranting this morning about the biodegradeable spoons at the yogurt shop in Clairemont. Apparently they give you biodegradeable spoons made out of corn starch with your yogurt. According to my dad, they have these stupid spoons in the yogurt shops “to pacify the liberal idiots in clairemont”. My dad, being the awesome patriot and crusader of freedom that he is, took a couple of these spoons a few years ago, and buried them in the backyard. He digs them up from time to time to check just how much they had biodegraded. Apparently, in the few years he has had them buried, they have not changed one bit. He says once they biodegrade at all, he’s going to take them back to that stupid yogurt shop and tell them that they aren’t helping the environment, and this type of stuff only works on the hippies in clairemont.
I love my dad!
In preparation for the upcoming Motley Crue show at Cricket amphitheater that has all of us completely stoked out of our minds, Kaner and I have been having some excellent Crue-related conversations. Enjoy:
(11:32:51) Will Kaner: I’ve been having some issue with my chest. Any ideas on what to do?
(11:33:12) Ian Grist: The only thing I can think of is to KICKSTART YOUR HEART!
(11:33:35) Will Kaner: Yeah but I think I need a second opinion about my heart condition…
(11:33:51) Will Kaner: any suggestions?
(11:34:47) Ian Grist: i was thinking about going to see DR FEELGOOD!!!!
(11:35:36) Will Kaner: yeah he said Ive been doing to much SMOKIN IN THE BOYS ROOM!!!!!
(11:36:19) Ian Grist: sounds to me like you are caught in the SAME OL SITUATION
(11:36:38) Will Kaner: hahahah and if i keep up this lifestyle i may find myself SHOUTin AT THE DEVIL!
(11:37:07) Ian Grist: lol. well at least you’ll go down with GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS
(11:37:18) Will Kaner: and were done here
(11:37:32) Ian Grist: nicely done
note: edited for posterity
No one will understand this (or find it funny) but Kaner and Evan…maybe Sanborn if he sees it.
got word on nigh blowin hard thru the feta foothills
2:21 PM Ian Grist
well there was a big cheddar storm front movin through the pepper jack plains
2:22 PM Will Kaner
cheese wheels the size of your head falling hard
2:22 PM Ian Grist
grated parmesan raining down like hellfire
2:22 PM Will Kaner
when the next cheese fargo rollin thru?
2:23 PM Ian Grist
oh ’round blue cheese thirty
2:24 PM Will Kaner
2:24 PM i got a sack of fresh shredded colby needs to get to
2:24 PM the cheddar docks by a fortnight
2:31 PM Ian Grist
you best be hurrying through the parmesan pass, t’will be closed by sundown
2:33 PM Will Kaner
I better get a move on if i want to stay ahead of the cheese
2:37 PM Ian Grist
id say so, pardner
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