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Tech-Startup Entrepreneur Hipsters – The Worst Kind!


So I just received an email that I was accepted into the beta for some new tech startup website that I didn’t even remember signing up for.  Hell I’m not really sure I ever acutally signed up for, seeing as though they sent me the notification to 3 of my email addresses.  I’m pretty sure I’m on some mailing list they bought.  But anyway, today I got notified that I was able to join the beta for “Erli Bird” a new startup itself that allows you to join the betas for new and upcoming tech startup websites and apps.

Don’t get me started on why they went with the spelling “ERLI” instead of the normal, accepted, “EARLY”. . . what really got me pissed off this morning is the plethora of names of  tech-startup hipster entrepreneurs companies that they are allowing you join the beta’s for.  I’ll focus on just a few of my favorites here, and provide a quick ranking on solidly they piss me off with their ironic web 3.0 abbreviated or hiply spelled company names.

Javu

 

JAVU: 1/5
I don’t know what the fuck geofencing is, nor do I care about harnessing it.  The name sounds like “java” and “view”, so maybe they direct you local coffee shops?  Too many hipsters writing screenplays on their macbook pros there already, no need for this app.

utavi

 

UTAVI: 1/5
I’m pretty sure this is the sound that the jawa traders make in Star Wars.   Stupid name for an app.
 https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=QlPvfrB9TpQ#t=24

teamstory

 

TEAMSTORY: 1/5
Complete with “instagram” style script logo and cool picture of the hipster-tech-startup icon Golden Gate Bridge…

pathgather

PATHGATHER: 1/5
This one annoys the shit out of me.  It just sounds pretentious.  Oh and it provides “social learning for the modern enterprise”.  I can’t see IBM or HP admitting they use “pathgather”.

shoptagr

 

SHOPTAGR: 0/5
FUCK seriously “tagr”?  WHY!  It just sounds too much like “grindr” which is, literally, gay.

ponder

 

PONDER: 2/5
While this one annoys me for the one ironic word name, it gets an extra point because they used the correct spelling, and not “PONDR”.

nomadyogi

 

NOMADYOGI: 0/5
This one pisses me off for multiple reasons.  Most of you already know my hatred of hippies, and this is a social network solely for Yoga Hippies!  I think we all know one bitch that is probably already signed up for the beta on this one…

I could go on for hours.  Maybe I’ll follow up with a new post each week on this, there is tons of content on the site!

Which ones do you hate the most?

Ian

This is my blog. I started it back in 2006 when I was finishing my undergrad at SDSU, kept going as I started my career and completed my MBA, and what do you know I'm still updating over 10 years later... It contains a little bit of everything about me - I'm an opinionated asshole sometimes, definitely a nerd, a gamer, a husband, a manager for a consulting company, a DJ and a musician, a grease monkey and a motorcycle rider...and a whole bunch of other things that probably are too offensive to mention. This blog has a lot of stuff I find funny, a little I find serious, and tons of information about my various and plentiful hobbies. I hope you find something here that's interesting to you. I'd love to hear from you, so feel free to comment or contact me! Thanks for stopping by!

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  • Awesome post! I got the email for Erli too, it’s pretty lame. LOL’ed at the Star Wars Jawa Trader sounds.

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