cougs

Ian Goes Cougar Hunting…Hilarity Ensues

If you have been a long time reader of T&T you may remember my last ordeal with online dating (see THIS post from a while back).  It didn’t go so well.  So since my recent (not my choice) change in relationship status, I figured I might as well use this opportunity to see whats going on with San Diego’s huge population of older, eligible, women.  That’s right – Cougars.  La Jolla, Del Mar, Solana Beach…the coastal areas are full of Cougar Dens with tons of Cougars on the prowl.  I like to think I fall into their prime demographic – single, no kids, self sufficient, eligible bachelor under 30?

 

So I did what any self respecting young cougar-hunter would do.  I signed up for CougarLife.com.  After all, it’s been voted America’s #1 wildest online dating site…what could go wrong?  I immediately set up a profile, using years of online dating experience to craft an irresistible presence for myself on the site.  And what do you know…the messages started pouring in!  Within a week I had 6 messages, within a month, over 15.  I must have done something right!  But wait, there’s a catch – WHAT! I have pay in order to read the messages?!  I’m hooked – no doubt these messages are dripping with sexual innuendos that only a mid-40’s divorcee could propose.

 

 

My Gmail inbox starts to fill up with notifications like this:

 

Of course this goes straight to my head and I start envisioning myself as the Steve Irwin of La Jolla, spending Friday nights out Cooz-Hunting or posting up at the bar at the Brigantine on a Poon Safari, slaying the local wildlife and being nursed back to health from horrible wine-cooler hangovers by beautiful middle aged women.

 

Well, I might have let my imagination get the best of me, because I still haven’t paid to sign up and see what these messages actually say.  But hey – they have a guarantee that if I don’t actually get laid – they will refund my membership fee.  How can I go wrong?!  Since I’ve been a member for about a month and still not actually signed up, one day I receive the following message:

 

 

WHAT!!  You want me to be a member so badly that you will let me sign up for the one-time low price of $12?!?!?!?  SOLD!  As I go to the sign up link,  shaking with the anticipation of what these messages are going to say, I feel like the guy in the Da Vinci code unlocking that codex thing (only to find out that this situation is going to have a worse ending than a Dan Brown novel).

 

I decide to do some quick googling before actually putting down a credit card on this thing, and I fire off a quick search for “cougar life scam”.  Uh oh…millions of results.  I decide to read a few.  Oh shit, these guys have been in the same situation.  That can’t possibly be the same for me though, these women are legit (this is literally my thought process).  I’ll just do a quick check and see what these profiles look like…

 

 

Wait a  minute nitestorm008, why haven’t you filled out your “About Me” section?  Why do you only have 1 picture?  Why do ALL of the other women who messaged me have the same situation on their profile?  The realization begins to sink in that I am indeed NOT the Steve Irwin of middle aged women.  I’m a sucker who *ALMOST* fell for an online scam.  hahaha

 

Well, I can’t give CougarLife.com the awesome review that I really wanted to.  But I can tell you this:  just signing up for this thing is great for your ego as the spam messages start rolling in.  In you are single loser like myself, it just might provide the confidence boost you are looking for to get out there and meet some women through real interaction…Or just learn the Mystery Method. (hahahaha)

 

Stay tuned as I read the pick up artist books and try that route!

 

EDIT: As I was editing this post, I happened to see the following ad show up in the Google-provided ads integrated in my site.  WTF!  Who’s the marketing genius in charge of this campaign?  FAIL

 

 

EDIT #2: If you are into laughing about other people’s online dating misadventures, I HIGHLY recommend you check out Single Steve’s blog.  I can’t even touch the shit this guy gets into.  Go get ’em, Steve!

3x05H

The Car Collection that would put Jay Leno to Shame

Check out this amazing car collection!  This dude on Reddit posted this link to an album of photos on imgur, and apparently he worked for this guy who owned the largest private car collection of something like 850 cars.  He’s even got a ’61 Lincoln Continental in there just like my old ride!

 

Ironically, apparently the guy (John O’Quinn) died in a car crash in a Chevy Suburban because he wasn’t wearing a seat belt.  Come on man!  I wonder if this collection beats Leno’s?

 

Enjoy these pics:


p

matrix

Want to Learn to Program?

If you are anything like me, you are interested in all things tech.  Maybe you have struggled with wanting to learn more about programming in any sort of language, and done some web design among other things.  Well in my travels on the internet, I have compiled a pretty decent list of learn-to-program resources.  These are some of my favorite sites that I think are great tools to help teach you the basics of programming.

 

I happened to luck out on Reddit and come across a really cool guy who was offering programming help to anyone who was interested.  Turns out he’s a developer in Dubai who was laid off from his job, and was just looking to help people out while he had some free time.  Super cool guy, and if you are interested, leave me a comment and I’ll talk to him because I know he’s interested in helping more people out.  We just do lessons using Skype screen sharing and it works out great.

 

I’ve been doing most of my development using the tools I got from Microsoft Dreamspark.  If you haven’t heard of this, you need to check it out.  If you have a .edu email address, you can sign up for this and receive full registered versions of Microsoft development software for free from their website.  This is awesome!  I’ve been using Visual C++ Express for a while, and then started to learn about Visual Studio using the free full version I got of Visual Studio 2010 Premium from Dreamspark, and then finally just upgraded to Visual studio 2011 Beta that was just released on the site.  Hey, you can’t be the price of FREE!  Thank god I still had access to my .edu address from Redlands!

 

Anyway, on to my recommendations! Here are some of the best sites I’ve found:

 

I hope these help someone else like they have helped me.  Good luck learning to code!

2001ZX9

The 200,000 Mile ZX9

This is awesome to see, as I picked up a 2001 ZX9-R a few months ago with only 2,800 miles on the clock.  This dude has put 200k on his 1998, so now I have a new record to beat.  I’ve already clocked over 1,000 miles in just over a month, so I think I should be able to beat 200k by the time I’m 71. haha

My 2001 ZX9-R
My 2001 ZX9-R

Check out the article here, and wish me luck beating his record!

Update:  How funny is it that when I previewed this post, Google adsense had the following ad displayed above it.  Are they that good to know that I’m over-compensating for something by buying fast bikes?  :mrgreen:

Horsepower can't compensate for everything...
How did Google know I'm over-compensating for something?!

Update 2: Happened to come across this link about a Million Mile Harley Davidson.  I thought 200k on a Kawi was impressive, but god damn.  Assuming he rode 1,000,000 at an average of 65 mph, this dude would have spent roughly 15,385 hours in the saddle.  This equals about 641 days, or 1.76 years straight riding a motorcycle.  Now that’s dedication!

Formula 1 Ripper

Formula 1 Drivers, MotoGP Tires, and Life in the Matrix

WTF am I talking about?  Let’s start my incoherent ramblings with an awesome video that  I picked up from a post on my friend Brett’s blog that really caught my attention.  I have  been watching similar videos about the stress that goes into MotoGP racing, so check that video out as well.

The F1 Video:

Moto GP Tire Technology:

 

I do this a lot when it comes to computers (watch out, I’m rambling again…).  I sometimes think I have a brain like Michael Scofield in Prison Break – I feel like I sometimes see through the Matrix and get obsessed with thinking how things actually work rather than just taking for granted the fact that they work like I think most people do.  I wish I could just be satisfied with the fact that things exist and that is that, (I think I would be a lot happier if I could just see things that way) but I can’t.  I can’t just use WordPress and take for granted that this is pretty cool software that is allowing me to post this blog entry right now.  I immediately start thinking of how I can understand exactly how the software works  and what is really allowing me to interact with it.  I want to see the code behind the scenes and understand how the web server it’s running on is processing the PHP and how it’s interacting with a mySQL database behind the scenes to store the data in my post.  What schema is that database using?  I go into PHPmyadmin and check it out, even write a few queries to investigate.  But I’m still not satisfied.  I’m starting to do this more and more with everything.

 

Thankfully, to alleviate some of this, I happened to meet this cool bro on Reddit who offered to teach programming.  I’ve taken quite a few programming classes (C++, VB, Java) throughout my years of schooling, but I think in order to satisfy this urge to understand these things, I’m going to really need to learn this stuff.  So I’ve gotten to know Rohit from Reddit who is in Dubai.  We meet most nights on Skype for an hour to go through C++ programming.  I’ve cranked out a few programs so far, and every night he tasks me with more and more stuff.  I’m hoping to tackle C++, then move on to more web-oriented languages (Ruby? Python?) and Java so I can start messing around with some Android apps.  I just want to be more technical, I want to be able to walk the walk and talk the talk.  I guess this will help in my career as I’m always managing software projects and devs really don’t respect PM’s because they think they are always full of shit.  The more I know, the better I can relate to them on these sort of projects.

 

Anyway, I’m not sure why I can’t just be satisfied after finishing my MBA and just enjoy not having any homework to do every night, but I just can’t.  I need to continue to be learning, exploring, investigating and figuring out how the fuck things work.  I think I’ll go insane otherwise.  Maybe I really am insane?

 

Somebody read this and leave me a damn comment! And have a great day 🙂

Trashed KLR

Changing Perspective Thanks to the Filthy Nomad

Last week I had the good fortune to meet one of the coolest people I have ever come across.  My brother Evan had been following a thread on ADVrider.com that followed the adventures of a crazy bastard who was riding his KLR650 across the US, Canada, and down through Mexico.

Alex's KLR650
The "Steel Steed"

This “Filthy Nomad”, also known as Alex, ended up running into some trouble down in Mexico toward the end of January.  On a ride back into town, his bike ended up completely falling apart.  Literally, the frame cracked in two and the bike split into pieces!

Bike's in Pieces!
This is what happens when you take a rip through Mexico after too much Tequila.

He ended up in a bit of a jam down in MX without a working bike, and reached out to the forum for help.  Evan sent him a message and offered him some help if he could find a way to San Diego.  Well, he ended up making it into town last week, and I’m sure glad he did.  Alex rolled into town and Evan had just mentioned that he was in some trouble and just needed a place to crash for a night.  Alex rolled in, and initially just needed a place to crash for the night, do some repairs to his bike, and relax.  He turned out being one of the coolest people I’ve ever met, and ended up staying for 8 days.

There are a few times in your life when you meet someone and just instantly know that you click.  Some people take a while to get to know and trust and feel comfortable around, but Alex is one of those people that you just instantly get good vibes from.  Now this dude was a complete stranger when he showed up, and it would be normal to be a little skeptical of letting someone random into your house (although he had a ton of positive feedback through his ride report on the forum so I knew he had crashed with other people who said he was a great guy), but I could immediately tell that he was our kind of person.  This type of guy was just so laid back, he put you at ease, and he made it a point to help out and pull his weight which was something I immediately took note of.  In a house where the people who live here don’t even go out of their way to clean and take out the trash, he was helping out and unloading the dishwasher and taking out the trash.  I pick up on this kind of thing because I really appreciate it when I see people go out of their way to do something that they didn’t have to do.  I like to acknowledge people when they do this, because hopefully it encourages them to continue doing things like this which just hopefully makes the world a better place, and because I hope it makes them feel good to know that someone appreciates what they did.

So after all the horrible shit that has been going on in my life lately, it was just good to meet someone who was so positive.  I really needed to meet someone like that and have some positivity thrown my way, because everything pretty much sucks in my neck of the woods.  After being dumped flat on my ass a week before I was going to propose to my girlfriend of 2 years, and having her up and move out leaving me with the rings I had custom made for her, I’m not exactly the most positive guy in the world.  But Alex’s “eh, fuck it” attitude was awesome, and helped me see there is a better way to go about things.  I’m trying to apply this kind of thinking to my own situation, because really, what can I do?  If I sit around upset and depressed, it’s not going to get me anywhere other than farther down.  But if I just say FUCK IT and move on doing my own thing, something positive will eventually come my way.  I’m still waiting to see what this something positive might be, but hey – things can’t get any worse than they already are.  I don’t really mind being alone, and it’s helped me come to terms with the fact that I really don’t mind being alone and I don’t need anyone to help “complete” me.  I know from experience that I will end up meeting someone when I least expect it, but if anything this whole serious relationship situation has pretty much cemented the fact that I will not be getting into another relationship anytime soon, and I have my mind made up 100% that I will NEVER let anyone get close to me like she did and will never propose or consider marriage.  I’m changing my attitude for the positive, and I know I can live my own life and be happy concentrating on my own things, but I won’t let anyone get close enough to me to hurt me like this again.

I know some of that is my own spin on things, but I do have Alex to thank for throwing some of those positive vibes my way and at least get me thinking in a positive manner.  I have no problem fending for myself and focusing on staying happy.

I left him a note on the ADVrider thread that he is always welcome to crash with us if he needs a place to stay.  And hopefully we’ll be meeting up somewhere on the west coast for a trip at some point in the near future…

Note:  I realize I’m not cut out to be a writer because my posts start out with one topic in mind and I just drift from one thing to another as I write it.  I know I’ll never be a good writer, but man it’s hard to even be a mediocre one! haha

Coors Light Cake

Sidetracked by The Amazing Coors Light Beer Cake

Let me begin this post with the most awesome picture I have ever seen to date.  I jumped on Facebook tonight, and much to my delight I saw THIS:

 

Coors Light Cake
Delicious Coors Light cake created by my awesome friend from home, Tara.

 

Holy shit.  Talk about those lame cooking shows that chicks watch like Cake Bitch and Cupcake Cunt or whatever they are called (side note: bonus feature of being single – I don’t have to sit through that shit anymore) – my friend Tara would put those bitches in the ground with this creation.  It’s confirmed – this thing consists of 3 layers of cake, and the Coors Light cans are the only thing better than Coors Light – RICE KRISPY TREATS!  Can you believe this concoction?  I can only surmise that this is what Jesus gives you on your birthday in Heaven.  Mother of God, Tara, you have really outdone yourself.

 

A side note about the creator of this masterpiece: in high school we always had an inside joke between Evan (my twin brother), and our good friend Tara (I think Tara an I even dated for a bit – you can see why when you look at this cake) that she was such a good cook, the only career for her once she got out of high school would be to join the army as a cook.  Hence our nickname for Tara, “Front Line Cook”.  Ok, doesn’t sound so funny in retrospect here, but you can see that she’s one hell of a cakerer (is that a word?  Creator of cakes).

 

I would also like to point out to my favorite dirt bag friends, KJo and Jbizzle should they read this, NOTICE that the piss water Bud Light is haphazardly discarded and laying on it side in its proper place of shame, meanwhile the Blue-Mountain, Frost-brewed, wide-mouth vestibules of ice cold liquid joy are so prominently displayed.  Suck it!

 

For everyone else, meet the creator of this delicious creation –  This is Tara, one of the coolest chicks I know:

 

Tara Stallings
My good friend Tara "Front Line Cook"

 

Anyway, I digress.  This post has really gotten off topic.  What initially started out as a deep, thought provoking post got completely derailed by a picture of a beer cake.  What can I say, I’m a simple fuckin’ man.  Since I had a great time writing this post about a cake which turned out to be quite substantial, I’m going to save for tomorrow the post I initially set out to write here about a change of attitude and motivation in my life that came my way by means of a Filthy Nomad traveling the world on a motorcycle with nothing to his name other than a bag of weed and a titanium rod in his leg from a motorcycle crash.

 

With that, I’ll just leave you of a taste of the wisdom this genius possesses.  Behold this YouTube video my buddy Alex recorded sometime last year.  He was on his second trip back into Alaska by way of Canada and had to hide a satchel of green in the woods before the Washington border crossing.  He had every intention of retrieving it on his way back, but ended up getting in a gnarly motorcycle crash in Alaska and snapped his leg like a twig.  Well that satchel ended up staying where he buried it for almost 2 years, marked only by a pillar of rocks in some obscure shape that was only known to him.  I imagined this like Blackbeards treasure hidden on some remote island with a skull jammed into the tip of a cutlass hammered into the ground, or Cortez’ stash of Aztec gold, hidden underground with only a tattered map to mark its place …..ok fuck my imagination is running wild and I’ve watched too many pirate movies and I’m starting to ramble.  Anyway, check out his video on YouTube of when he came back 2 years later to dig up the “green gold” that he hid…the suspense will almost kill you!   hahahaha

 

I’ll leave you with that and I’ll return tomorrow with some more thoughts.  I’m dedicating myself to posting religiously from now on as a means to get some thoughts off my chest.  My life is changing pretty drastically, and I want to get some thoughts on virtual paper to figure out how I want it to change.

 

I’m heading out to Plaster City tomorrow morning to blow the cobwebs off the CRF with AK47, K, and one of my lifelong best friends Big Pat!  I’ve got the GoPro charged up, so hopefully tomorrow night everyone can enjoy my latest crash footage.

 

Good Night!