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Creative Names for the Most Abused Bathing Suit – The Banana Hammock

banana-hammockDon’t ask me how I got on the topic of creative alternative names for Speedo’s with my parents tonight, but we had a damn good laugh thinking of great names for the things.  After accusing my brother of loving dudes wearing “banana hammocks” and “grape smugglers” (my go-to hilarious names for speedo’s) I decided to perform a quick google search for a more comprehensive list of names.  I was not to be disappointed.  My search returned a treasure trove of Speedo alternatives, most from a great new blog I discovered – UsedWigs.com .  These guys built a list of shit so funny it had my mom rolling on the ground laughing.  I’ve now added a few new clutch Speedo names to my vocabulary like the always appropriate “Nantucket Nad Bucket”, the “Portuguese Pud Purse”, and the classic “Daytona Dong Sarong”.  This is just the beginning, enjoy the full list from the geniuses over at UsedWigs.com!

  • Marble Sack
  • Banana Hammock
  • Grape Smuggler
  • Australian Dick Sticker
  • Nut Hut
  • Boner Suit
  • Scrote Tote
  • Nantucket Nad Bucket
  • Sausage Sling
  • Portuguese Pud Purse
  • Ouch Pouch
  • Cock Sock
  • Peach Pit Papoose
  • Ballbushka
  • Lolly Catcher
  • Daytona Dong Sarong
  • Sperm Tourniquet
  • Nugget-Hug-It
  • Brazilian Ball Bag
  • Manberry Pudding Pack
  • Miami Meat Tent
  • Saint-Tropez Truffle Duffle
  • Bratwurst Bath Cap
  • Pickle Pincher

The full post can be found here: http://usedwigs.com/speedo/

Got some better ones to add?  Post em in the comments!


This is my blog. I started it back in 2006 when I was finishing my undergrad at SDSU, kept going as I started my career and completed my MBA, and what do you know I'm still updating over 10 years later... It contains a little bit of everything about me - I'm an opinionated asshole sometimes, definitely a nerd, a gamer, a husband, a manager for a consulting company, a DJ and a musician, a grease monkey and a motorcycle rider...and a whole bunch of other things that probably are too offensive to mention. This blog has a lot of stuff I find funny, a little I find serious, and tons of information about my various and plentiful hobbies. I hope you find something here that's interesting to you. I'd love to hear from you, so feel free to comment or contact me! Thanks for stopping by!

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  • Anonymous

    What a great article!

  • Thiswinesucks


  • Ya that was pretty hilarious last night. Mom was laughing so hard!!
    I think my favorite has to be ‘Nantucket Nad Bucket’ hahaha

  • Anonymous

    or the “Daytona Dong Sarong” hahahahahaaaaa


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