FML

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I took some buddies from work up by the new house during lunch today.  We checked out the house for a bit, then jumped in my truck to head out and grab something to eat.  Peter, Johnny and I get in, and I turn the truck on and put it in reverse.  I notice the shifter feels pretty sloppy, so I put in neutral, then back into reverse.  It feels like its not quite going in to gear, so I’m thinking great, now I’m going to have to have my trans checked out.  Next thing I know, the shifter comes loose in my hand.  The shifter literally snapped off at the transmission.  There isn’t even a nub left to shift it with, it sheared clean off right where it comes out of the trans.

So now we are stranded at an empty house…so we push my truck into the garage, and luckily got ahold of Matt to come pick us up and give us a ride back to work.  So now I have no truck, my ’56 is still in the shop (2 months later…don’t even get me started on that one), Evan’s truck and Barracuda are broken and he’s driving the F150.  I have no transportation, and AAMCO is closed on weekends.  I won’t be able to get my truck working until monday at the earliest. 

I’m sure this was just due to wear, since I added the 2″ body lift back in 2003, I had to add an extension to the shifter to make it extend high enough above the transmission since the body was now 2″ higher.  This additional length probably put more force on the shifter, and caused it to snap.  I’m just glad it didn’t happen while I was on the freeway or anything, at least it was just in the driveway.

So now, in addition to the cost of moving, I’ve got to fix my truck…

FML

Some @ssshole off StumbleUpon Hates T&T

I received this message from my contact form today:

Your Name Justin
Email fuck@you.com
Website www.goatse.cx
Message Your website fucking sucks. Stop submitting it to StumbleUpon you dumb fuck. No one cares what you’re playing/reading or your stupid fucking reposts. Start a facebook you fucking idiot.

I guess he probably shouldn’t be using Stumbleupon then, as tons of my pages have been stumbled and recommended so many times, I get a shitload of traffic from people off that site.  Looks like that asshole should stop visiting T&T if he hates it so much.  In the mean time, I’ll keep enjoying the traffic and the money from people who advertise on here, and I’ll post your comments for people to  laugh at.  Enjoy!

The Closest Pics From The Shuttle Launch You Will Ever See

My dad just sent me these pics, that his friend’s son (A pilot for American) took from 37,000 feet  – one of the closest planes to the launch at Cape Canaveral!  You won’t see these pics any where else!

This week, by coincidence. I happened to be one of the closest aircraft to Cape Canaveral during the Shuttle launch (we we directly over Orlando.)  The camera makes it look further away than we actually were.  We could actually see the Shuttle itself with the naked eye (at 37,000ft.)  It was one of the most spectacular views and colors we had ever seen.  We made an announcement just before the launch and the flight attendant said people were almost sitting on strangers laps looking out the windows.

The first picture was of the actual launch.  You can see the coast next to the flames.  On the 3rd picture you can see the reflection on the water.

Check these out:


UCRUZULUZ2K9

Let me begin the recounting of this tale with a brief synopsis written by Kjo.  Nothing better sums up the 2.5 day/3 night shitshow that myself, Moto, Evan, and Kjo embarked on last weekend.  God forgive us for the things that transpired on that boat.  May he have mercy on our souls…

Every part of my body hurts, I have several mystery bruises all over my body, I did the worm in front of hundreds of people to get on stage with the hypnotist..I got kicked off the stage because I was too drunk, got yelled at by security about every 15-20 minutes for things I cannot even remember..I went down a water slide with a gigantic sombrero on, made some friends, made more enemies, spent over $500 on drinks..swallowed about five pounds of sand, swallowed some ash from a cigar that I was smoking while jumping a Yamaha Rhino ATV in the sand dunes with Ian, Evan and Cam after going to Papa’s and Beer and having several buckets of beer…Ian got yelled at for riding a wheel chair shit-housed drunk through the cruise ship with a gigantic sombrero on… Evan and Cam displayed their newly acquired bracelets inscribed with “Long Cougar Fucker” and “Pootang Killer” to the 60 year old mother of three daughters at our table and then they told her she is safe because she isn’t a “Long” Cougar… these are just some of the antics and they are certainly not in chronological order…

Well played Evan the “Pootang Killer”, Cam the “Long Cougar Fucker” and Ian the Crippled Amigo.

I’m gonna chalk this cruise up to a  success.

From UCRUZULUZ2K9
Let me just first say that I have done a lot of partying…I survived and graduated from SDSU for god sake…but this last weekend was the biggest blowout I’ve ever had.  The most consistent, mind numbing abuse of alcohol spread out over a weekend that there ever has been.  We began drinking the minute we set foot on that ship, and didn’t stop until somewhere in the early morning hours of Sunday the 15th.  There could be no better crew of guys to assemble for such a vacation.  For an idea born over a month ago thanks to a rainy afternoon spent at Hooters drinking, I   have a feeling this will not be the last cruise we attend.

We showed up around 330 at the terminal and smuggled 5 bottles of booze in our checked suitcases.  Upon hitting the room and having them delivered, we began making drinks as fast as we possibly could.  After getting a good base drunk on, we hit the craps table and proceeded to win some ca$h!  I came up all right, after getting loaded and throwing some fire on that table, and thanks to an old lady next to me on a hot streak. She probably put a couple hundred bucks in my pocket on her rolls!
From UCRUZULUZ2K9

We got paired up with a pretty good crew of people for dinner.  A mom with her 2 daughters and some of their friends out for one of their 30th birthdays.  I think they were a bit shocked at first when we showed up to dinner the first night completely wasted.  Kevin proceeded to drop F-bombs in front of the the mom, and let her know that he was here to have fun and thats what he intended to do.  After we broke out with a rousing round of “You’ve lost that Loving feeling” and getting half the dining room singing with us, I think we won them over and they turned out to be great dinner partners.  A later (expensive) run in at the roulette table, and  about $100 worth of bud light, we passed out around 4am to get a couple hours of sleep before spending the next day in Mexico.

From UCRUZULUZ2K9

Friday started off around 8am with a wicked hangover.  This was easily remedied by heading to the spa and working our way through the Golden Four (takes 4 beers when you are hungover to reactivate your drunk and get you going again).  After drinking in the spa for a couple hours, we headed into Mexico.  Thanks to a tip from my buddy Johnny who had just gone a couple weeks ago, Evan and cam rented quads and Kjo and I got a Rhino.  You can ride these things anywhere on the streets down there, so we headed over to Papas and Beer to do a little celebrating before going to the sand dunes.  P&B was going off, as was Mango Mango across the street.  Some guys were loaded up on the balcony wearing Lucha Libre masks and throwing money off into the street.  Little kids were fighting each other for the money, and I literally saw a 5 yr old kid deck a girl in the face over a dollar.  I know I shouldn’t have laughed at that – and I feel bad about it…but damn it was pretty funny.

From UCRUZULUZ2K9

After getting pretty good at P&B, we headed out to the dunes.  Before leaving we clarified with the rental place – What happens if we get too drunk to drive?  He said just get drunk first, then drive – just don’t drink while driving.  We followed his advice.  The dunes were awesome – we bombed the shit out of those quads and the Rhino turned out to be the most fun of all.  Our $80 rental covered anything short of blowing the things up…and believe me by the time we returned that Rhino it would barely shift into first gear and was backfiring every few minutes. (note: don’t get lost in the deep ghetto in a backfiring golf cart.  This sounds like gunshots, and in a shady neighborhood – this can be dangerous)  Instead of explaining more of the Shenanigans that went down on the dunes – just watch some video proof.

On the way back, we stopped a couple bars for a few beers, and Kjo was dead set on finding the biggest sombrero in Mexico.  Well, he succeeded as him and Evan purchased 4 foot wide “Mexico” sombreros, along with Evan and Cam’s purchase of some very interesting wrist bracelets.  The slogans on these bracelets are not exactly appropriate for my family oriented blog…I like to keep things acceptable for all ages.  Oh what the hell:

From UCRUZULUZ2K9
From UCRUZULUZ2K9

Remember those bracelets, as they came in extremely handy (hilarious) at dinner later that night, when I mentioned to the 50 year old mother of the girls at our table that she should take a look at the pretty bracelets that they purchased in Mexico.  It was the funniest thing I have ever seen watching that lady read them out loud, and then say (direct quote) “Well, you boys must be tired from killing all that poon in Mexico Today”.  I have never laughed so hard.  It was at this point that Kjo fell out of his chair during dinner due to how inebriated he was.  This added to the hilariousness of the situation, and pretty soon everyone was laughing their asses off.

We checked out a comedy show that night, and met some friends celebrating a bachelorette party.  It was a great night.

Saturday morning started out even more hungover than the previous day.  I couldn’t eat for much of the morning, and apparently in my excellent state the night before, had filled out the room service card by checking every single box for food to be delivered at 8 am that morning, and marking that it was for 14 people.  We were woken out of a drunken sleep by room service knocking on the door and wheeling in a cart with tons of food.  It somehow all ended up on the floor, and we all passed out again to wake up to a mess aroudn 10am.

The only thing we could do sat morning was to make it up to the spa and proceed to sit there for 6 hours.  During this time we went through an estimated 40 beers between the 4 of us, and met some new friends as our dinner partners and some new people showed up.

From UCRUZULUZ2K9

We had an awesome day, and got out around 5 completely shriveled up and totally wasted.  After making it back to the room, cam and I decided to put on the sombreros and do a lap around the boat in our boxers.  So…wearing nothing but boxers, sombreros, and sunglasses, ran through the entire R deck, had an awkward elevator ride with an old man, and looped around back to the room.  I have video of this, but Its in my best interest I do not post it here.  lol

That night proceeded with the comandeering of a wheel chair, and me almost being thrown in the brig due to driving it recklessly doing wheelies through the casino and starting a wheelchair dance party.

From UCRUZULUZ2K9

We then headed to the hypnotist show, where Kjo got on stage by doing the worm in front of 1000 people.  He was then kicked off of the show when, after he was supposed to be deeply hypnotized, he started laughing his drunk ass off.

We then hit up the “disco” and danced our asses off until 4am.

From UCRUZULUZ2K9

Soooooo…5 bottles of booze later, and still hungover 2 days later, I had the best weekend of my life.  We partied harder than ever before, and I can’t wait until we book the next one.  For a trip so aptly named “You Cruise, You Lose – 2009” – it was a hell of  a go.  There will be a round 2 some time this summer, and damn I can’t wait for it!

Entire Album HERE

And with that, I’m going to get some sleep!