What a friday this has been, and its only 11:30am! I came in to work this morning to see that my favorite Scooby Doo sticker that has been stuck in the upper left corner of one of my monitors for a year, is missing. I found it odd that this disappearance of Scooby had thrown off the feng shui of my desk, which has seriously decreased productivity this morning. Anyway, shortly after arriving I receive and email in my inbox, with a suspicious .jpg attachment. With apprehension, I open it to find this:
I have mixed emotions running through my mind at this point. I’m scared. Scared for the well being of scooby, scared because I haven’t worked without him in so long. I’m also mad. Someone has perpetrated a crime against me, and they must pay! Not to mention – what damage would those staple pullers do in regard to the structural integrity of my Scooby sticker?! He may never stick right again!
As the drama unfolds and the morning progresses, I receive another anonymous email, containing the following text:
I KNOW IT WAS YOU!
Times up, I didn’t want to play hard ball…but I will. I need the owl, Dwight, and a six pack of beer. Or the tree gets snapped!
By this time I have somewhat figured out what is going on here. My roomate works on the floor below me in the sales department, along with another good friend. He keeps a bonsai tree on his desk. Another good friend sits in the cubicle next to him, and he has a disgusting brown antique coffee mug with owls on it that he religiously drinks coffee from every morning. A couple months ago, I took his coffee mug and held it for ransom. Unbeknownst to each other, they both showed up this morning, and stole each others posessions. Cam has the mug, and Jason has the tree, and they both think that I am behind this whole thing! I am like the fugitive – blamed for a crime i did not commit!
But I can’t let this progress without getting involved. I visit the sales floor to do some damage control. I tell each of them that the other person stole their belonging, meanwhile as they are openly accusing each other of betrayal – I snagged Cam’s toy helicopter from his desk. The perfect crime!
I send Cam the following email with attached picture:
Cam – Looks like your flight plans have been canceled! ZING!
Now, we are stuck in a rut. No one trusts each other. Everyone has lost something today. No one knows where their own shit is. There is open hostility on the sales floor. I have retreated to my office to play with Cam’s helicopter. I feel like this copter is way better than Scooby Doo. i am content. HAPPY FRIDAY!