Programmer Sex

Thanks to Hooty McBoob for this one:

The programmer compiled an array of reasons as to why he can’t find a girlfriend with a good <HEAD> on her <BODY>, reason 0 being that he has limited cache.So often he searches his memory to recall connecting to the TCP/IP tunnel of his last girlfriend — sometimes even without a secure socket.His last girlfriend always complained about his lack of comments. He fumed, “I hate commenting!”Realizing it was a program requirement, he told her she had nice bits.This resulted in a Syntax Error.Now she demanded a massage but this was rejected as “Feature Creep.”He smacked her back-end and shouted, “Who’s your parent node?!”He scanned for open ports. He attempted to install a backdoor worm but her response was 403.While his data uploaded into her input device, she considered terminating the process. But instead she initiated a Do While loop where she recalled a previous boyfriend with a larger pointer.To expedite the routine routine, she screamed, “Hack into my system! Hack deep into my system! You’re 1337, baby!”This caused his stack to overflow and he shot his GUI on her interface.

Is it good or bad that I understood all of this?  (and not just in sexual terms!)

Who Wants to Travel in a Garbage Truck?

My dad sent me these pictures, but no real description of the truck – who makes it, where were these pix shot, is it for consumer use? I have no idea, but I do know that I would love to travel the outback in this motorized man palace.

Imagine loading this thing up with 15 of your buddies and tooling around the country, stopping at the abandoned mines off the old 395 or taking any god damn shortcut that you please. By the looks of it this thing is pushing more horse power than a pack of ’69 super bees. Not the mention the amenities. While I would prefer seeing a ridiculous plasma or LCD hanging off the walls (could be easily accommodated by removing the Kitchen – any real man needs only a bbq) powered by a Satellite mounted on top this rig, providing super sweet high def TV and worldwide internet access. How awesome would it be to upload your safari pictures to Flickr minutes after slaughtering a lion – the blood still wet on your hands?

I haven’t even thought about the insane parties this thing is capable of. Remove that sink and substitute a keggerator if you want (you can wash your hands with beer if necessary). This is a mobile swinger pad! The loft up above is perfect for bringing back a few hot hotties (ha!) to the trophy room and add a few more heads to that wall.

Bottom line is…if these were available for an Amazon wish list, sign me up! (Or get me a JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruise/Tank)

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Without further wishing: check out the pix of this beast – and I don’t know if the sweet KTM bike comes strapped to the back or if you have to provide it. Anyone know more info about this thing? Comment up! (more pix after break)

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A Wasted Weekend and BIOSHOCK

This weekend has been a blur…and not a drunk, wasted mess of a weekend where you can’t remember what you did but you know it must have been something awesome because when you woke up you were surrounded by empty shells of keystone light and a head full of regrets – no, it has been a blur because I got sick.  Not sick, sick, but a weird headache sick  that I have never experienced before.  It started on friday morning when it felt like my head was in the middle of a vise squeezing in from both sides.  Probably the worst shooting pain I have ever experienced coursing through my head.  I managed to survive through friday night and then went to urgent care saturday morning.

The diagnosis maintains that I probably don’t have a brain tumor (he said probably!), although it wasn’t a migraine, so he wasn’t sure what was causing this pain.  ( I think it could possibly be my wisdom teeth)?  Regardless, he loaded me up on Vicodin to help with the pain and sent me on my way.  Now, this sounds like a wasted weekend you might say…well true, except for one thing: BIOSHOCK!

This is by far the most insane, awesome game ever created  for any system.  Had it not been for Bioshock, I don’t think I would have survived this weekend in bed.  (Made even harder by the fact that all my friends were out partying, wakeboarding, and then went camping!)

Now, I’m the guy who literally played a total of 3 hours of WoW and then cut himself off completely.  I have pretty much lost interest in video games for the most part, and didn’t think I would be able to get into another one like this again.  However, 2k Games has done it with BIOSHOCK.  Please, go get it!  And, since my head is killing me again, im going back to playing.

Keep It Rollin’ (8 Random Things)

I the wake of Ian’s 8 random things, i feel as if i should say a bit about myself.

1. I just graduate college in May from CSUCI. It took 7 years but i was busy
2. I have been in multiple bands and toured the world which is why it took me so long to graduate. I currently wail on on six strings in Versus The World.
3. I have a germ problem which might be associated with my own OCD. Sucks but o well.
4. My favorite drink is Jameson.
5. Some the best internet conversations ever (as you’ve all noticed im sure) are between Ian and I.
7. Im all over the place if you google me…it’s weird.
8. Im single…so if you’re like a smokin hot babe holler at…yeah

Winter Formals, etc…

So most of my scholastic career I have avoided school dances like the plague. I only got sucked into 2 total, one of which wasn’t even my own, I went cause a good friend of mine wanted me to go with her to hers (I’m a really great guy). So lets do some math: from 6th grade till your senior year of high school you are hit with at least 4 different school dances; Homecoming, Winter Formals, Some kind of spring event like Sadie Hawkins (which puts the power in the hands of a woman to choose who she would like to have squire her about for the evening…sadly…I never got asked…now I have issues). And last but not least…the grandee finale of them all…the last big blow out, wallet draining, virginity robbing “I’m drunk for the first time ever, and all inhibitions are to the wind” dance…the PROM. So all together if you multiply the 7 years of school by the aprox. 4 socialite cult gatherings each of those years, you come to a rough total of 28 opportunities to have “the best night of your life”.
So here’s where I’m going with this…each enchanted evening has its own “theme” right? I believe mine was called “midnight masquerade”. It wasn’t anywhere near what I expected…it was at the Elks Lodge in Goleta, and I didn’t even score after. You would think the associated student body would put more heart and soul into their work…maybe go the extra mile to think of a great theme for prom/other dances. If people took more pride in it maybe I would have shed a bit of my anti-soc attitude and attended cause the themes were cool.
I’ll now show you EXACTLY why I’m spilling this on you…why I feel that people need to really brainstorm to draw out the masses…

Whom ever spear headed the planning of this dance should…NAY…must go down in history as the greatest party planner of all time. For all I know they are… What I don know is that I would have DEFINATELY gone to this dance…

Let this be an inspiration for all you young Jr. High – High School student bodies

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Who wants to go to Purple Rain Prom with me?
<3- casey

[14:53] The Gun Show: you have to roll in like prince: with a hot asian bitch on one arm…and one hot white bitch on the other arm…and a flock of black chicks
[14:54] BetterOffAloneSB: word
[14:54] The Gun Show: look at that kids face deuce
[14:54] The Gun Show: he’s ready for action…100%
[14:55] BetterOffAloneSB: I would be too if i standing next to a sweet harley with a smokin babe
[14:56] The Gun Show: yeah dude…he is undeniably harnessing the power of the hog.
[14:56] BetterOffAloneSB: and that babe is totally falling for it
[14:57] BetterOffAloneSB: where did u find this picture
[14:57] The Gun Show: dude…look at his face…totally in pre wink
[14:57] The Gun Show: you know the camera dude on the other side is throwing him a covert thumbs up
[14:58] BetterOffAloneSB: i hate to use the word
[14:59] BetterOffAloneSB: “duh”
[14:59] BetterOffAloneSB: that dude can barely concentrate on how smoking hot his date is because he is sprung on that harley
[14:59] The Gun Show: i was googling images of “purple rain” so i could set it up as my back ground on the space since the hackers wrecked my wolf picture
[15:00] BetterOffAloneSB: man…internet gold
[15:02] BetterOffAloneSB: that look on his face is just like “what bitch”
[15:02] BetterOffAloneSB: uhhh
[15:02] The Gun Show: yeah dude…20 bucks says before the flash bulb even fully exstinguished itself that kid threw his betty onthe back of that chopper, kick started that bad boy…reved it loud and proud…dropped it into first…let out a Rebel Yell…smoked the tires on the dance floor and rode off into the sunset towards the nearest motel 6
[15:03] BetterOffAloneSB: well said
[15:04] The Gun Show: its just the truth
[15:04] The Gun Show: im calling it like i see it
[15:04] BetterOffAloneSB: straight shooter
[15:05] The Gun Show: you know me

8 Random Things About Me

I got tagged in a blog meme by Liz over at Learning Nerd. So now I owe her 8 random facts about myself, and tag a couple other bloggers to do the same. Pretty cool to see how far these things can reach, I try to read hers and other blogs daily, (but have been slacking in blogging overall lately) and happened to catch some incoming links from her site. That being said, here are 8 facts – and links to some buddies to keep it going!

  1. I have an identical twin brother named Evan
  2. I have (had) too many toys/projects…I’m like those people that keep bringing in stray cats and dogs, except my strays all have engines 🙂
  3. I have a bad problem with my OCD – for example I can’t concentrate on working on any websites when my desk isn’t in order or my bed isn’t made.
  4. I can play the Saxophone (Alto, Tenor, and Baritone) and Bass Guitar
  5. My favorite sound is the crack of a fresh, ice cold beer being opened (preferably coors light)
  6. I have too many ideas and not enough time to act on any of them…this gets really frustrating
  7. I still sometimes get mistaken for Benji or Joel Madden from Good Charlotte (This just happened again in Vegas last weekend). This used to be cool about 5 years ago…now is not so cool
  8. I am the only person who has played WoW for 3 days and cut themself off completely

Now for my lucky friends who I hope will keep this going:Bruce “Deuce” Buns – Also here at Tech and Tonic

Nick Urbani – Over at Never Stop Learning

Brianna Schletz – The Stolen Three

Matty – At Mattys Blog

Big J Adams – JasonKAdams

Evan’s VIDEoFF entry #2 : Computer Man

Ok ladies…time to bring out the big guns. Here is the bottom-line ultimate piece of internet cinematography ever created. If you don’t think this is best video you’ve ever seen, you don’t enjoy internet video, or you lost your sense of humor a long time ago.

I bring to you….. COMPUTER MAN.

The legend goes that some poor cubicle dwelling bottom feeder created this video years ago to try and circumvent cube-rot (the cubicle workers disease where they slowly die from boredom and lack of sunlight). This guy eventually moved up the ranks and became a high-level manager at a large company. One of his many employees somehow found out about this video, and published it across the vast plains of the internet, quickly ruining this guys career in one fell swoop.

There are a few highlights of the video I need to point out:

*Notice he is wearing a milk-man outfit, and pushing a cart full of random computer parts, as if delivering computers to the tech-hungry employees.

*The video dates itself from the beginning with the computer man holding up an original boxed copy of After Dark, the windows 3.0 screensaver package.

*Notice at 00:10 when CM is throwing out floppy disks to the class, the middle aged white guy in the white shirt/black tie doesn’t get one. Check his face closely for the crushing look of defeat and shame.

*At 00:14 pay attention to the red-haired Danny Bonnaduce look-alike ripping his red clown-curls out at the frustration caused by poorly written software.

*At 00:16 when the whole crew is dancing in the hallway, pay close attention to the white-guy-cant-dance arm-swing-and-spin move.

*Notice at 00:18 CM is leading the employees through the hallway playing a computer keyboard like the flute or whatever from the pied piper.

*Notice at 00:21 when they are dancing back to the left, the last guy in the row is an indian guy wearing red pants. He looks just like Samir who went in on the money scam with Peter & Michael Bolton in Office Space.

*Pay close attention at 00:27 when the guy is working hard on his computer, and computer man suddenly pops up on the screen. Its really funny because he’s so surprised.

*The ridiculous monkey dance at 00:38 is one of my favorite parts.

and finally……
GET INTO A COMPUTER!