Programmer Sex | Journal
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Monthly Archives: August 2007

Programmer Sex | Journal

Programmer Sex

Thanks to Hooty McBoob for this one:

The programmer compiled an array of reasons as to why he can’t find a girlfriend with a good <HEAD> on her <BODY>, reason 0 being that he has limited cache.So often he searches his memory to recall connecting to the TCP/IP tunnel of his last girlfriend — sometimes even without a secure socket.His last girlfriend always complained about his lack of comments. He fumed, “I hate commenting!”Realizing it was a program requirement, he told her she had nice bits.This resulted in a Syntax Error.Now she demanded a massage but this was rejected as “Feature Creep.”He smacked her back-end and shouted, “Who’s your parent node?!”He scanned for open ports. He attempted to install a backdoor worm but her response was 403.While his data uploaded into her input device, she considered terminating the process. But instead she initiated a Do While loop where she recalled a previous boyfriend with a larger pointer.To expedite the routine routine, she screamed, “Hack into my system! Hack deep into my system! You’re 1337, baby!”This caused his stack to overflow and he shot his GUI on her interface.

Is it good or bad that I understood all of this?  (and not just in sexual terms!)

Programmer Sex | Journal

Who Wants to Travel in a Garbage Truck?

My dad sent me these pictures, but no real description of the truck – who makes it, where were these pix shot, is it for consumer use? I have no idea, but I do know that I would love to travel the outback in this motorized man palace.

Imagine loading this thing up with 15 of your buddies and tooling around the country, stopping at the abandoned mines off the old 395 or taking any god damn shortcut that you please. By the looks of it this thing is pushing more horse power than a pack of ’69 super bees. Not the mention the amenities. While I would prefer seeing a ridiculous plasma or LCD hanging off the walls (could be easily accommodated by removing the Kitchen – any real man needs only a bbq) powered by a Satellite mounted on top this rig, providing super sweet high def TV and worldwide internet access. How awesome would it be to upload your safari pictures to Flickr minutes after slaughtering a lion – the blood still wet on your hands?

I haven’t even thought about the insane parties this thing is capable of. Remove that sink and substitute a keggerator if you want (you can wash your hands with beer if necessary). This is a mobile swinger pad! The loft up above is perfect for bringing back a few hot hotties (ha!) to the trophy room and add a few more heads to that wall.

Bottom line is…if these were available for an Amazon wish list, sign me up! (Or get me a JL421 Badonkadonk Land Cruise/Tank)


Without further wishing: check out the pix of this beast – and I don’t know if the sweet KTM bike comes strapped to the back or if you have to provide it. Anyone know more info about this thing? Comment up! (more pix after break)



Programmer Sex | Journal

A Wasted Weekend and BIOSHOCK

This weekend has been a blur…and not a drunk, wasted mess of a weekend where you can’t remember what you did but you know it must have been something awesome because when you woke up you were surrounded by empty shells of keystone light and a head full of regrets – no, it has been a blur because I got sick.  Not sick, sick, but a weird headache sick  that I have never experienced before.  It started on friday morning when it felt like my head was in the middle of a vise squeezing in from both sides.  Probably the worst shooting pain I have ever experienced coursing through my head.  I managed to survive through friday night and then went to urgent care saturday morning.

The diagnosis maintains that I probably don’t have a brain tumor (he said probably!), although it wasn’t a migraine, so he wasn’t sure what was causing this pain.  ( I think it could possibly be my wisdom teeth)?  Regardless, he loaded me up on Vicodin to help with the pain and sent me on my way.  Now, this sounds like a wasted weekend you might say…well true, except for one thing: BIOSHOCK!

This is by far the most insane, awesome game ever created  for any system.  Had it not been for Bioshock, I don’t think I would have survived this weekend in bed.  (Made even harder by the fact that all my friends were out partying, wakeboarding, and then went camping!)

Now, I’m the guy who literally played a total of 3 hours of WoW and then cut himself off completely.  I have pretty much lost interest in video games for the most part, and didn’t think I would be able to get into another one like this again.  However, 2k Games has done it with BIOSHOCK.  Please, go get it!  And, since my head is killing me again, im going back to playing.


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