WTF? Weird Tuesday!

Ok first things first, I’m Evan. Ian’s twin brother. I figured it was time I started posting on this site and get some good content on here, since Ian’s been doing such a poor job.  Anyways, I  work up in the Mira Mesa area, and here are a couple pictures of what I saw on my lunch break last Tuesday.

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Ok…..I don’t really know where to begin.  We’ll start with the unbelievably broke mid 80’s Camaro. WTF. What kind of alcohol-fueled hasselhoff hell was this POS designed in?  I don’t know what to make fun of first, from the snap-on plastic Pep Boys plastic-chrome hubcaps, to the unbelievable skyscraper-tall hoodscoop, to the 6 foot spoiler with welded on chrome exhaust tips.  And who came up with the faded metallic pink paint job!?  I’ve taken shits with blood in them after a hard night of Tequila shots that looked better than that color.  I’ll leave it up to you make your own opinion of that eyesore, but that car needs to get off the street.

And this leads me to the restaurant I encountered….titled none other than “Jollibee…Crispy Chickenjoy*Juicy Yumburger”.  Effective title right? I have no idea what this place is, and then I encountered the smiling BEE trying to lure me into the store. Give me a fucking break….this shit might be ok in downtown Tokyo, but how many crazy japanese anime fueled guys who look like Speed Racer live in the area and will visit Jollibee regularly?  This ones going on my top ten list of places likely to go out of business in the next hour.

And thats my first post. Hope you enjoyed it.


Boat Loans and Customer Service

So I received a call today from  a representative at my credit union, and I’m pretty excited to find out they can offer me a much lower interest rate than I am paying now.  However, they can offer me so much more. . .

The lady forwarded me her contact info so I could send her information about my current loan – but do I detect a hidden offer in her email sig?

Please do not hesitate to contact me for any of your future financial needs. I look forward to being able to service you in the near future.

I could care less about a lower interest rate now…I’m more interested in the customer service!

Man Cards and the Power of Beer

Here are a few emails I received from my Father today. Enjoy.

The Power of Beer

A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.

After 18 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.

Swoooosh! Plop!! A torso pops out! The bar is dead silent; then bursts into whoops of joy. The father, shocked, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant “Take another drink!”

The bartender continues to shake his head in dismay. Swoooosh! Plip! Plop!! Two arms pop out.

The bar goes wild. The father, crying and wailing, begs his son to drink again. The patrons chant, “Take another drink! Take another drink!!” The bartender ignores the whole affair and goes back to polishing glasses, shaking his head, clearly unimpressed by the amazing scenes.

By now the boy is getting tipsy, but with his new hands he reaches down, grabs his drink and guzzles the last of it. Plop! Plip!! Two legs pop out. The bar is in chaos.

The father falls to his knees and tearfully thanks God. The boy stands up on his new legs and stumbles to the left then staggers to the right through the front door, into the street, where a truck runs over him and kills him instantly The bar falls silent.

The father moans in grief. The bartender sighs and says,

“He shoulda quit when he was a head!”

And Finally, Man Cards, by Bud Light: